Astros Encourage Affiliates to Avoid Guaranteeing Wins

Well, Bryn M'Taggare't, you've done it again!!  As I've mentioned in this space previously, I don't seek out Ms. M'Taggare't's work, as its subject matter is not pertinent to this blog.  However, she has once more sent me some information that begs to be published.

Astros Encourage Affiliates to Avoid Guaranteeing Wins in the Future

by Bryn M'Taggare't

The Astros look to avoid future misunderstandings with their minor league affiliates by discouraging them from including one popular promotion on their calendar.  In an announcement released by the team, all the club's minor league affiliates are encouraged to "avoid carrying out any promotion that promises that the team will win a particular game."

Many minor league teams have special nights where a win is promised to all fans in attendance. Traditionally, if the team loses, everyone in attendance receives a ticket or voucher for a ticket to a future game to compensate for the broken promise.

The Astros release on the matter continued, "We appreciate that our affiliates and fans are confident in our abilities; however, we feel a "Guaranteed Win" promotion puts undue pressure on the young men in our organization."

"We have done extensive statistical analysis of this type of promotion in the minor leagues over the last three years. We could not mathematically prove that such a guarantee serves as a jinx to teams. However, after finding that the guarantee is not upheld in nearly half the games, we decided that such a promotion is not a beneficial activity considering our focus on the development of young talent."

"We cannot force our affiliates to adhere to our wishes.  Yet, we are confident that they will cooperate on this matter."

One local media member had an interesting interchange concerning this announcement:

Local Media Member:  Shouldn't a prospect be able to deal with the pressure of playing in a guaranteed win game?  For example, would striking out to lose such a game be a disastrous impediment to a true prospect's development?

Astros:  We would hope in the face of such adversity, our prospect would be able to Shake It Off. However, we don't feel it is prudent to even take such a risk going forward.

Yes, They Have a Plan

Yes, They Have a Plan 

Jeff Luhnow's a brilliant man
We trust in his awesome plan
We watch him and every day
He reveals the Astros Way

Refrain:
Yes, they have a plan
And we love their plan
Oh, it's a great plan
Jeff Luhnow tells me so

Luhnow's eyes can see, it's true,
Far more than most mortals do
We will never understand
All the wonders of His Plan

REFRAIN 

When will Luhnow and His Plan
Lead us to the Promised Land?
Soon and very soon we say
It's nearer now than yesterday.

REFRAIN

c2013 

words by Royal Worm, used with permission
music by unknown

A Number from 20 Years Ago... 192

I found the picture posted above over the weekend when I was going through some boxes deciding what to put in an upcoming garage sale.  Pictured is a copy of "Sports Nippon" from the day Ichiro Suzuki broke Japan's single season hit record as a rookie.  On its own, the paper is interesting, but what made me decide to post it here and share the story is the fact that the date on the paper is September 15, 1994(exactly 20 years ago today).  Can't beat the timing.

A large majority of the first three pages of the sports section of this national paper were dedicated to Ichiro's hit #192, which broke a record that had stood in Japan for 44 years.  Check out the picture above that highlights Suzuki's unique swing.

One thing about the Japanese coverage that is interesting is how many statistics about Ichiro's feat are included. One part of the coverage breaks down Suzuki's performance into various splits including vs. LHP or RHP, by ball/strike count and home/road.

Apparently, while Tom Lawless and baseball folks in America were yet to disover numbers, 20 years ago, the Japanese baseball community was well on its way to integrating numbers into their enjoyment and understanding of the game.

Moves Like Luhnow(A parody in the making)

Please find below, lyrics for a parody of Maroon 5's Moves Like Jagger.  It's called Moves Like Luhnow.
If any musician out there has interest in turning it into song, please contact me at farmstros@yahoo.com.

PLEASE NOTE: I used the bridge(voiced by Christina Aguilera in Jagger) to give Jim Crane a voice.

Moves Like Luhnow
by Royal Worm

He’s changing the game every day, yeah!

It won’t be the same there’s no way, yeah!

It’s gonna be cool

Cuz he ain’t no fool

You know that it’s true

He’s got full control

He’s the master

He’s steering the team from disaster

Some pundits may jeer

But, it is so clear

That someday, we’ll cheer

Him. It goes like this.

Shifts until your head starts spinning

Maybe someday they’ll start winning

With the moves like Luhnow

With the moves like Luhnow
With the moves like Luhnow

Way outside the box he’s thinking

No chance that they keep on stinking

With the moves like Luhnow

With the moves like Luhnow

He’s got the moves like Luhnow

His fingers are quick on the keyboard

His mind is too slick to be ignored

He has all the tools

On Twitter he rules

The guy is a jewel

What will he do next?

It’s a mystery

Will he send a text

To change history?

Though he didn’t sign

Young Brady in time

It’s gonna be fine

And it goes like this

Refrain

BRIDGE(Jim Crane’s part)

You wanna know how to make me smile

Save me dough every day and night

And if I Share my sercret, You’re gonna have to keep it

Nobody else can see this

So make those moves

Keep me in the black

Coffers full, and you will get no slack

But if I share my secret

You’re gonna have to keep it

Nobody else can see this.

And it goes like this….

Refrain

C2014 words by Royal Worm

The Brady Bunch- Astros' Edition

UPDATE: Thanks to Cassie an intern at Sports Radio 610, who put these lyrics to music earlier today, and to Ryan McCredden, the station's Program Director, who posted the audio here.

After an intriguing six-week run, season one of The Brady Bunch- Astros' Edition will come to a close Friday afternoon at 4 pm (Central Time).  The ground breaking program included mystery, medicine, comedy and drama.

Following are the lyrics to the show's theme song.  Thanks to the karaoke version at this link, you can sing along while you wait for the final episode to air.

THE BRADY BUNCH- Astros' Edition

Here's a story of a kid named Brady

Who was pitching and wowing all  the scouts

He was every GM's dream, a can't miss prospect

A future star no doubt

Here's the story of the Houston Astros

Just a baseball team hoping for some wins

They were young and they needed talent

To reach the top again

"Til the one day when the Astros drafted Brady

Unaware his pitching ligament was gone(or mostly gone?)

And this tale which started out so simply

Kept going on and on

The Brady Bunch

The Brady Bunch

That's the way they became the Brady Bunch

c2014 Royal Worm

This post was made possible by Baseball Cards for Sale.  If baseball cards are your thing, check out Baseball Cards for Sale.

Lyles Goes to 5-0 with Win in Cincinnati

Jordan Lyles moved his season record to 5-0 with a lop-sided victory for Colorado in Cincinnati Saturday night.  The Rockies gave Lyles plenty of run support in an 11-2 victory over the Reds.

Lyles pitched six innings, allowing four hits and two runs.  He struck out eight and saw his season ERA increase slightly to 2.66.

The Legend of Jordan Lyles Finds a New Audience

Jordan Lyles has prompted a re-recording of The Legend of Jordan Lyles with his fast start for the Colorado Rockies.

After spring training, Lyles was assigned to AAA Colorado Springs; however, an injury to one of the Rockies' five starters gave a Major League opening to Lyles.  He has taken advantage of the opportunity.  In six April starts, the 23 year-old had a 2.70 ERA over 36 2/3 IP.  He posted a 3-0 record for Colorado. 

The former Astro has also taken advantage of being back in the National League. For the month, he was 4 for 14 at the plate with a double and an impressive home run.

You can hear the original March 2010 recording of The Legend of Jordan Lyles here.

Both versions are the property of Mike Tauser. Used with permission.

"A" League West World

As the poet of the Farmstros Village, I established a tradition of creating and posting a poem about a fictitious baseball team known as the Dukes every Good Friday. I enjoyed being able to share these poems with my readers as a way to commemorate the resurrection of Jesus.  When I departed the Farmstros offices, I wasn't sure if Dukes baseball would continue to be a part of my experience. I hoped it would.

Therefore, it was a pleasant surprise this spring to discover that the Dukes are indeed still playing baseball in 2014. It was an even greater treat to learn that the Dukes' media relations office was willing to grant me access to the club so that I could chronicle their activities once again.

“A” League West World

A slight breeze was blowing on opening day

The foul lines were chalked, the field ready for play

The Dukes had a cutting edge plan for the year

Their strategy I will now try to make clear

Their GM, an egghead, (he’d say, “I’m a geek.”)

Had cobbled a roster completely unique

Each player he’d signed up to don a Dukes’ hat…

Each one was a robot who could throw and bat

“I programmed our players precisely to be

A fantasy team for all our fans to see.

I can’t wait to watch them perform for this town

My formulas show the team won’t let us down.”

The crowds came to watch, and those robots WERE great

They outplayed their rivals both early AND late

They won almost always and lost just a few

Their “A” League opponents knew not what to do

The Dukes were the toast of the nation by June

They had their fans singing a robotic tune:

“We love to watch our Dukes each night,

Inhuman though they are

They win so much we truly call

Each one a superstar

Go robot players, robot players

Round and round to home

You make each play like clockwork

From you our hearts will not roam

We love to watch our cyborg nine

The Masters of The Game

Our love of baseball and the Dukes will never be the same.”

The cheers reached a crescendo in the last week of July

Then August came and in the heat,

The Dukes’ plan went awry

Most people think the circuits overheated in the sun

Whate’er the reason they went south quite quickly one by one

Some ran the bases backwards

Some swung on 3 and 2

The robots were a clinic of the

Things you should not do

They ran through stop signs

Balked and lost

Some ground balls in the light

They missed the cut-off man on throws

From left field and from right

The final straw was broken when

The robots seized the day

And voted that the GM should be sent to Triple A.

Of course, that never happened

As the GM was too smart

To let some robots he’d created

Force him to depart

Before the players had a chance to shove him on that train

He used a gizmo he’d designed to shut down all their brains

Those cyborgs were demoted then before they could do harm

Then quickly were replaced by robots called up from the farm.

c2014 by Mike Tauser

Thanks to my old college classmate at Marquette University Robert Kempe who introduced me to West World 25 years ago

For your convenience here are links to the first six installments:

The Golden Sombrero Wearer(2008)

Three Day Journey from Worst to First(2009)

The Second Baseman Rides into the Sunset(2010)

Ballpark Time Machine(2011)

The Sword-Bellied Dukes' Fans Shirts Held Scimitars(2012)

#DukesForFree(2013)