"A" League West World

As the poet of the Farmstros Village, I established a tradition of creating and posting a poem about a fictitious baseball team known as the Dukes every Good Friday. I enjoyed being able to share these poems with my readers as a way to commemorate the resurrection of Jesus.  When I departed the Farmstros offices, I wasn't sure if Dukes baseball would continue to be a part of my experience. I hoped it would.

Therefore, it was a pleasant surprise this spring to discover that the Dukes are indeed still playing baseball in 2014. It was an even greater treat to learn that the Dukes' media relations office was willing to grant me access to the club so that I could chronicle their activities once again.

“A” League West World

A slight breeze was blowing on opening day

The foul lines were chalked, the field ready for play

The Dukes had a cutting edge plan for the year

Their strategy I will now try to make clear

Their GM, an egghead, (he’d say, “I’m a geek.”)

Had cobbled a roster completely unique

Each player he’d signed up to don a Dukes’ hat…

Each one was a robot who could throw and bat

“I programmed our players precisely to be

A fantasy team for all our fans to see.

I can’t wait to watch them perform for this town

My formulas show the team won’t let us down.”

The crowds came to watch, and those robots WERE great

They outplayed their rivals both early AND late

They won almost always and lost just a few

Their “A” League opponents knew not what to do

The Dukes were the toast of the nation by June

They had their fans singing a robotic tune:

“We love to watch our Dukes each night,

Inhuman though they are

They win so much we truly call

Each one a superstar

Go robot players, robot players

Round and round to home

You make each play like clockwork

From you our hearts will not roam

We love to watch our cyborg nine

The Masters of The Game

Our love of baseball and the Dukes will never be the same.”

The cheers reached a crescendo in the last week of July

Then August came and in the heat,

The Dukes’ plan went awry

Most people think the circuits overheated in the sun

Whate’er the reason they went south quite quickly one by one

Some ran the bases backwards

Some swung on 3 and 2

The robots were a clinic of the

Things you should not do

They ran through stop signs

Balked and lost

Some ground balls in the light

They missed the cut-off man on throws

From left field and from right

The final straw was broken when

The robots seized the day

And voted that the GM should be sent to Triple A.

Of course, that never happened

As the GM was too smart

To let some robots he’d created

Force him to depart

Before the players had a chance to shove him on that train

He used a gizmo he’d designed to shut down all their brains

Those cyborgs were demoted then before they could do harm

Then quickly were replaced by robots called up from the farm.

c2014 by Mike Tauser

Thanks to my old college classmate at Marquette University Robert Kempe who introduced me to West World 25 years ago

For your convenience here are links to the first six installments:

The Golden Sombrero Wearer(2008)

Three Day Journey from Worst to First(2009)

The Second Baseman Rides into the Sunset(2010)

Ballpark Time Machine(2011)

The Sword-Bellied Dukes' Fans Shirts Held Scimitars(2012)

#DukesForFree(2013)